


Just Where You Are

by Cinnamonbookworm



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M, angsy missing year christmas fic, emma never really quite forgets, onceuponasecretsanta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-22
Updated: 2014-12-22
Packaged: 2018-03-02 21:11:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2826245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cinnamonbookworm/pseuds/Cinnamonbookworm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Jolly Roger is docked at a nearby town.<br/>Emma never really quite forgets.<br/>Angsty missing year christmas fic for hotchocolatewithcinnamonontop on tumblr for the onceuponasecretsanta.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Where You Are

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hotchocolatewithcinnamonontop](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=hotchocolatewithcinnamonontop).



> you wanted a christmas fic.  
> so i wrote you a christmas fic.  
> you wanted it to be fluffy.  
> i am afraid it is a bit more angsty than intended.  
> still, happy holidays, and i hope you enjoy it.  
> Title from Lenka's "Faster With You"

_you stay **just where you are** // while i'm away from home//_

_but i take you in my heart // just like a placebo_

 

The Jolly Roger is docked at a nearby town.

That’s what the whispers all around the castle say. Of course, no one has actually seen the not-so-infamous pirate captain since he parted ways with Snow White, her prince and the apparently reformed Evil Queen.

Nevertheless it is sitting there, after months and months of little to no news about the pirate and his legendary ship, rocking gently back and forth in the waters of a little town’s harbor.

“It’s like Christmas came early.” One of the young ladies whispers to her friend as they stare at the ship, and the two girls can’t help but giggle. And while it is true that the captain’s presence has sent many female -and male - citizens into quite a frenzy because of his legendary good looks, he has not yet graced the village with his presence. And, if the rumors are true, it may be too late for these ladies, because his heart lies with another.

***

Emma is supposed to be shopping.

Henry has been hinting that he wants a videogame called “The Wolf Among Us,” and so she really should be over in the electronics section of Target looking at the game and deciding if she _really_ wants her 12 year old son to be playing a game about the brutal murders of fairytale creatures being solved by the Big Bad Wolf, but she can’t.

She just can’t.

Because there she is, stopped dead in her tracks two aisles over because the Princess Bride is playing on one of the televisions and Westley has just told Buttercup as you wish -the one before he rolls down the hill, not the ones at the beginning of the movie- and her boots have stopped dead in their tracks and she just can’t move.

This has never happened before.

Emma has seen the Princess Bride time and time again - she practically has it memorized - but never before have these words caused her to freeze and barely be able to breathe.

No. That’s not right. This has happened once before.

At least, that’s what her mind is telling her and Emma can’t quite hold a grasp on the memory - and it’s _not_ a sign that she’s getting old okay, she’s just seen that movie too many times to specifically remember every viewing - and then she feels a vague sense of time because she hasn’t seen the movie since she moved to New York with Henry.

She hadn’t frozen the last time she heard those words, but the slight sensation of heart palpitations definitely seems familiar and she is brought back to a time - last March - right before they moved.

She’s still frozen though.

Because those words have made her feel like the air around her is suddenly humid and she longs for the feel of leather around her and she’s suddenly craving rum… or saltwater taffy… or both.

And then her brain comes to its senses and she walks away with only a bit of nostalgia and curiosity because she’s probably just reacting to her lifelong dream of having someone say that to her.

Not that she can see Walsh saying that to her.

Not that they’re far enough in their relationship that he knows its one of her favorite movies yet.

Not that this pause means anything.

***

Someone has left the Jolly Roger.

To the dismay of the young people of the town, it is not Captain Hook, but rather, his well-known right-hand-man, William Smee.

The man with the red cap wanders around the town, going into market in the early mornings and paying for varying fruits, breads, and alcohols with coins that they have never seen before.

If Smee is aware of his being followed by a group of teenagers, he does not seem bothered by it. Perhaps he does not see them as anything more than pesky flies.

Then, one day, a swan appears on one of the small ponds.

And the pirate captain finally leaves his ship.

They do not dare approach him (well they _do_ dare each other to approach him, but no one does so), despite their wishes to see him up close. Still, he they catch his eye several times and where before the Dark Curse was cast, they know he would've leered at the young ladies and sassed off the young men, he does not strike up a conversation with them. Instead, he seems content to sit on a log beside the lake, watching the swan, while he sharpens both his sword and his hook - he is a pirate, after all.

One of the girls gets slightly closer, accidentally running into him in the few waking hours that she is not following him and his crew around with her group.

"His eyes are so blue." She tells them. She's already told him about how his ocean eyes darkened when she accidentally crashed into him on her way to the tavern to gather her brother, about how his voice was low and _absolutely dreamlike_ as he growled at her to watch where she was going, about how he smelled like rum and leather and the sea. But she cannot avoid the topic forever. She cannot ignore the faults their hero. "So blue but so sad."

They nod in understanding. And from then on, they can clearly see the sadness in his eyes as he stares at the swan.

"I heard King James invited him to their Winter ball," one of the boys starts, later that night, because it is three days before the Winter Festival (which those who have come back from the Land Without Magic insist on calling _Christmas_ ) and he is so, so curious, "do you think that's why he's in town?"

"He's a _pirate_ , Milo," his friend replies, "do you really think he's going to take up the offer of that oh-so-charming royal?"

"If he doesn't, _I_ will." One of the ladies replies, and they laugh at her statement. And then the pirate looks over and they duck behind the trees again.

He doesn't seem angry. He just looks sad. So so sad.

After a few minutes, he goes back to staring at the swan.

His eyes have taken the laughter from their lips.

***

It is almost Christmas.

Walsh wants to know what she wants.

She doesn’t know how to tell him that all she wants for Christmas is leather.

She found this red leather jacket in the back of her closet and put it on and, even though she can’t remember purchasing it and now she seems to want her entire wardrobe to be made of it.

There’s this one dress she’s had her eye on for a while. It’s black and tight and leather with a silk lining and she doesn’t know why but she is craving to feel leather pressing up against her skin.

She doesn’t know how to tell him she wants this. She feels like he doesn’t deserve to know. She really doesn’t want to tell him.

So she makes do with a longer black coat the makes her feel fearless when she swirls around to sucker punch one of her targets in the face.

She makes do with a leather pencil skirt that she bought on a whim.

She makes do as best she can, but she really wants this dress.

***

He let his crew roam free at a nearby village. He told them to have a happy holidays without their captain. Only Smee and a select few who had been in Storybrooke knew where he was going, but they didn’t know _why_. Hell, he barely knew why he was going himself.

He’d known who the letter was from as soon as he’d seen the snow-white dove. He’d been surprised that they’d tried to contact him at all, frankly. But here he was, a few yards from Regina’s castle, where he hadn’t stepped foot near in so many years. However, there he was, dark hood up and mask on so no one who didn’t know his blue eyes would recognize him. He’d even traded his hook for his wooden hand.

They’d asked him to come to their celebration of their own free will. They considered him an ally, even a friend, and he wanted to bask in that, appreciate that they all were starting to see him for the man he is. Except, their praise reminds him of Emma ( _gods_ , Emma - with her determined smirk and emerald eyes and golden hair), which in turn makes him think of Ariel and the Jolly Roger and Blackbeard and that has him knowing that he’s not the man they think he is. He’s not worthy of their praise.

Yet, here he is now, and he can’t deny he’s slightly pleased with himself for remembering the layout of the Queen’s castle, because he’s already snuck past the guards, and entered the kitchens, where he _knows_ he’ll find someone waiting for him.

And there is Tinkerbell, leaning against the wall with her arms closed, but her smile shows that she _is_ quite happy that he has graced the celebration with his presence. The wings she’d regained in Storybrooke are shimmering in the light of the magic candles hanging  from the kitchen ceiling, and she’s back in the attire of the realm. The fairy does look quite stunning, and another time he might’ve flirted a bit, but the green reflecting from her eyes and the blonde hair she’s curled around her shoulders reminds him of Emma, and why he’s here in the first place.

“I told them you’d come.” Her voice is smug but cannot hide her happiness.

“Wasn’t sure I was until a few hours ago if I’m being honest, love.”

“Nice mask.”

“Nice wings.” He points out how her wings have grown in length since they last saw each other, indicating she now has a more prominent status among the fairies. He extends his arm to her as she pulls her clover mask over her eyes. “Shall we?”

She takes his arm and they enter the ballroom together. He wonders how many people are curious to the identity of the man accompanying the fairy.

They go to Regina first, since the fairyland and the queen seem to have mended fences in the time he’s been away.

“Hook.” She uses as a farewell. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m actually happy to see you here. I’ve been cooped up with the un-Charmings and _this one_ ” she gestures to Tinkerbell, “for months now. You can only hear the same speech about hope and not giving up so many times before it starts to wear you down.”

“A pleasure as always, your majesty.” He bows to her, with a slight amount of mockery. Her eyebrows raise from behind her black feathered mask. “I admit, I wasn’t sure if you were going to show up, with your usual motivation being… elsewhere.” She chooses her last word carefully, because he knows they have both lost someone irreversibly. “I’m sure David will be happy to see you, though. He could use a drink, what with the stress of fatherhood and all.”

Killian’s heart stops dead in his chest; _fatherhood? Does this mean Emma…?_ But he finds  as he turns around that Snow White’s stomach has doubled in size since they last parted ways.

“Ahh,” he starts, unsure of how to proceed, “I see many things have changed.”

Then he notices Baelfire’s absence. They invited _him_ , the pirate, but not the father of their grandson? He does not ask of the man’s whereabouts, for fear that he will be met with news he does not want to hear. “As things stand, I’m only here for a few quick salutations, and then I will depart. None of this ever really suited me.”

“Me neither,” the queen sighs, “but we all have our parts to play, don’t we?” She then leans in close enough that he can smell the blackberry fumes wafting off of her, close enough so Tinkerbell can’t hear. “If I were you, I wouldn’t tell them about Blackbeard. Wouldn’t want them to suddenly take back their welcome.”

“Aye.” He responds, looking her dead in the eye. Out of the entire ballroom, he knows Regina would be the one to know about, and understand what he did to the other pirate. Killian then turns to Tinkerbell, who is eyeing the two of them suspiciously. He mockingly bows to her. “Care for a dance, my lady? For old time’s sake?”

She rolls her eyes, but accepts anyway, and they make their way to the center of the ballroom, where a woman with snow-white skin and ebony hair dances with a man as charming as they come.

***

Christmas was almost gone; only five minutes left until midnight. After her explosion, Walsh had left them with a “Merry Christmas” and not much else. Emma stared at the Netflix menu. She’d been meaning to rewatch the Princess Bride, ever since her experience in the store, but instead she found herself drawn to Peter Pan. She was on her second of the small bottles of rum, and so she blamed the alcohol and her childhood dreams of faraway places for her strong desire to be in Neverland, facing mermaids and lost boys and fairies, but instead of Peter Pan, she just wants to do it all with Captain Hook. Perhaps she chooses him because he is such a strong believer in “good form.” Whatever the case, these thoughts haunt her as she drifts off to sleep that night.

In her dreams, Tinkerbell has flown into her room and is shaking her. “Come on!” the fairy urges. “You need to get up or you’re going to miss the Winter Ball.”

She rolls over only to find she is falling down a purple vortex.

And then she is standing in a broken room, glass unicorns hanging above her head, and looking into a broken mirror. She finds, upon examining her reflection, that she is wearing a dress the color of the night sky. It changes colors from royal blue to navy to almost black, like it can’t make up its mind.

Tinkerbell is suddenly next to her, her disney costume replaced with a corseted green dress with an empire waist that flows to the ground like flower petals. “You looks so lovely, Emma,” she starts, “if only this were real.”

And she _knows_ it’s not, knows it _can’t be_ , because she’s dressing for a ball with a disney character. Somehow though, there’s something about it that feels real, something she can’t put her finger on.

The fairy grabs her hand and they turn together to march into a wardrobe, like the Pevensies going to Narnia.

The wardrobe, as it turns out, leads to a crowded ballroom. Suddenly, a lightweight is on Emma’s face, and she looks for her reflection in one of the windows, only to find that she’s wearing a swan mask.

A hooded man bows to her, a black mask concealing his face. “Care for a dance, my lady? For old time’s sake?” And she is tempted to refuse because of the teasing tone in his voice, until he looks up and she sees his eyes, which are bluer than any ocean she can remember seeing. His mocking expression falters as their eyes meet, and he looks so familiar, but she can’t put her finger on why.

“Emma?” He asks, disbelieving.

And his voice, god, his voice is _so familiar_ and loving and so damn _sexy_ , and you’d think she would remember meeting someone like this. All she can manage to whisper out is “Have we met?”

And then his eyes fall. They are so blue, and so sad. He smirks and she would melt a little inside if his smile weren’t so tight. “So what do you say to that dance, love?”

She finds herself accepting and doesn’t understand why his touch on her waist sends sparks through her entire body.

She wakes up with a cold sweat, not remembering her dream, but there is the taste of rum on her breath and she has a sudden desire to visit the ocean.

***

Captain Hook fails at sleeping. His one dream is of his princess, dressed in the color of the story ocean, and he can barely handle it. He drowns himself in rum until morning light breaks. He does not think he will try and visit his allies from Storybrooke again. It hurts too much.

The children of the village do not see Captain Hook again.


End file.
